Not Loving You…

 

You’ll probably think I’m being overdramatic, but this is the way I feel about Adam Levine.

 

If I could do only one thing in this world,

But it couldn't be to love you,

It would be to put a smile on your face.

I would want every moment I'm around

To be the happiest of your life,

To make your troubles melt away,

For then I would never leave your side,

In hopes of easing any pain you feel.

If I could do only one thing in this world,

But it couldn't be to love you,

Then I would do nothing.

Because the only thing that matters

To me in this world is loving you.

Not being able to love you,

Would be to live without air.

I would decay, wither away.

If I could do only one thing in this world,

But it couldn't be to love you,

Then I would choose to die.

Because without the love I have for you,

My life, myself, and everything I do,

Would be for nothing.

Nothing I would do,

Could matter more than loving you.

If I could do only one thing in this world,

But it couldn't be to love you,

I would want just to be your friend.

Because being around you,

Getting to smile, laugh, and be happy with you,

Would be better than not having you.

Without you in my life,

I'd live a life without meaning.

And the Winners Are…

Amy and Mark Vann! The category? Best pair of parents I’ve ever met.  (Sorry mom, I said pair). They are a match made in heaven. Apart, I don’t think they’d be as good, but together they compliment each other very well, like peanut butter and jelly. Their kids could not have asked for better parents.

Amy: The strict one. Always making sure you do what you’re told, always checking your homework, and always making sure you get a punishment when you deserve it. (With help from her trusty sidekick of course). Without her, I probably would’ve been an idiot, and a spoiled brat. Okay, so I’m still a little spoiled, but if she hadn’t checked my homework, I would not be getting all A’s in my honor classes. Of course she is also a very fun, creative parent. And her kids have the best clothes and hair. They’re probably better dressed than all the kids in my school.

Mark: The (kinda) laidback one. Letting you get away with stuff once in awhile, always smiling, joking, and laughing. Just being around him makes a crappy day feel so much better. Don’t get me wrong though, he can certainly dish out the discipline when you deserve it. Without this man in my life, I’d probably be boring, and I wouldn’t have any sense of humor. Thanks to him, I’m probably the awesomest person I’ve ever met (Besides these two people of course, and my mom).  Okay, so I’m a little anti-social at times, but that’s only because I can sense peoples’ energies, and I’m usually only drawn to people with positive energies.

Amy & Mark: Together, they make the best pair of parents in the world. They both have great moral values that they pass onto their kids, and if their kids are 1/2 the parents they are, their kids will be great too. They are a great influence on not just their kids, but also any kids that spend just 5 minutes with them. Luckily for me, I’ve had the great honor and pleasure of knowing this lovely pair my whole life. They’re like my second mother and father. I can’t wait until I see them again, so I can tell them how much I love them and appreciate everything they’ve done/do for me.

I’m so glad…

I’m only 1/2 Polish. Otherwise I’d be saying things like “of all the six senses we have my fave is touch”. Sorry mom, but I just had to make fun of that. I mean, hello, most humans have 5 senses. I have 7 though. I’m psychic, and I can sense peoples’ energies. But, we’re not talking about all the reasons I’m awesome, so let’s not get off subject. (P.S. I cannot write today. I have the right words to say somewhere in my head, but they’re just so elusive. Sorry my post kinda’ sucks.)

Coolness…

I don’t know how, when, or where I had this epiphany, but now that I’ve had it I’d like to share it:

   Coolness, is something that’s unattainable. If you think about it, its true. When you look back at yourself, from let’s say a year ago, don’t you think ‘Man was I a dweeb’, or ‘Gee, that was really stupid’, but a year ago you thought you were the coolest. And right now you’re probably thinking you’re the s***. But don’t you think that if you look back a year ago today and think that of yourself, that a year into the future you’ll be looking back at who you are  now and thinking the same thing? That’s why I don’t think people should put so much emphasis on who or what’s popular. We shouldn’t try to impress anyone, so they can think we’re cool, because in the end it doesn’t matter. Instead we should pay attention to the things that actually matter.

This man …

Never seems to take a bad picture. He’s like my sister Missy, he could make a booger in his nose look good. I can’t wait until the day I get to meet him.

Iran…

Almost Broken

By Gabby Aguirre

 

As I stand on the brink,

Deciding whether to

Take my final steps.

As I sit in this room,

Contemplating if I

Should cut just a little bit deeper.

As I hold these pills and alcohol,

Imagining what would happen if I

Took this last, fatal swallow.

As I walk these city streets,

Brooding about exactly what

Car to jump in front of.

I think to myself:

Why not?

What do I have to live for?

This world doesn’t need me!

I creep a little bit further,

Get ready to cut a little bit deeper,

Ensure the noose is a little bit tighter,

Put a handful of pills in my mouth,

Run a little bit faster.

But then I think:

Why?

What don’t I have to live for?

My world needs me!

And I stop dead in my tracks,

Spit out all the pills,

Take my neck out of the noose,

Throw the razor across the room,

And step away from the abyss,

Unscathed, and ready to live.

Hate…

Is such a strong word. I try not to use it often. But I truly hate this class. It is the most boring class I have ever taken, (Yes, it’s even worse than health). Surprisingly though. It’s my second best class, right behind French. I have 101% in this class. PLEASE tell me how that’s possible. (Not that I’m complaining about the percentage, just the class.)

Thanksgiving…

Of ‘09 was possibly the WORST one ever, besides Thanksgiving of ‘04 of course. My grandpa and I took the train to Mt. Prospect, where we were going to spend the holiday at my Uncle Warren’s house. When we got there, there weren’t many people there yet, just my uncle and his wife, kids and grandkids. Even when the house was filled though, I still felt completely and utterly alone. I tried to avoid conversation as much as possible. It was my first Thanksgiving without any of my sisters or my mom there, and I’m not going to lie, it sucked so hard. People kept trying to engage me in conversation at first, but once they heard my short, robotic responses, and saw my lame excuse for a smile they left me alone. It was a combination of the fact that I didn’t know anybody, and maybe just their energies that made me so reclusive. How I wish I was like my sister Missy sometimes, who is a person magnet. But then again, I don’t think I would’ve liked anybody anyways.  What I’m about to say, I’m absolutely serious about, so don’t laugh: I think they were too white. They seemed so uppity, and happy. It was annoying. And they didn’t feel bad about lying either. One person, who’s name I can’t remember, before leaving, told me it was nice to meet me. I KNOW that’s a lie, because i did not even interact with the person at all. I’d rather be told that it wasn’t nice to meet me because I was so shy, than be lied to. Anyways, my point is, I just wish i had been able to spend the tragic holiday with my REAL family, not those fake, white people.

Some People You Should Know…

This is my amazing family. I’m not going to tell you all their names in order to maintain their privacy, but I will tell you that 4 of them are sisters, 4 of them are cousins, one of them is my aunt, and, last but not least, one of them is my mom. They are the most amazing people, (Well, some of them… Just kidding… Or am I???). If the only people I had in this world were my family, I would be so happy. I’d rather be around family than people I don’t know and can’t depend on (Adam Levine doesn’t count, because I do know him, and I will be able to depend on him once he’s my husband).  I’m so grateful to have a family like mine, because some people don’t have any family, or if they do they can’t depend on them. It’s the best feeling in the world to have people who care about you. It’s also the best feeling to care about someone so much that you would do anything for them, whether its live for them, or die for them, and I would do that for any one of the people in this picture.

Regrets….

I hate having them. Doesn’t everyone? That’s why I try not to brood too much on the past, and instead look towards the future, and all it’s possibilities. There is one fatal error I made though, just today. I should’ve made my blog name Big Face. I know that’s not a big error, and that it can be fixed, but then the earlier post about my blog being named Gabby Smella would be inaccurate, and I would hate to have to change or delete it.  It’s cool though.

If somebody…

Pointed a gun at my head and made me pick my favorite photo of this man, I would be unable to. Not out of fear, but just because every photo of this man is my favorite. In case you don’t know who he is, his name is Adam Noah Levine. He was born March 18, 1979 to Patsy Noah and Fred Levine. He is the lead singer of Maroon 5. There’s so much more I could tell you, but if I typed everything I know about him it would take years. He is absolutely amazing though, so I blogged about him before I blogged about my AMAZING family. But that’s because I believe obsession outlasts everything, even love, and even hate. He is funny, compassionate, a good singer, GREEN, charismatic, charming, and just about every other good adjective out there. Oh, and did I forget to mention HOT!!!!!! Here is my favorite quote said by him.

“If I do something right, I get a cookie”

(And if you do something wrong?)

“I get a slap on the ass.”

“Which I kinda like too, it’s like another kind of cookie.”

An Explanation…

is probably needed, as to why my blog is called GabbySmella. I am the youngest of 5 kids, all girls, so I ALWAYS got picked on. My sisters used to call me things like pudge and Chewbacca, among other nicknames, but my favorite was always GabbySmella. It’s kind of a play off my full name, Gabriella. Just thought you might want to know…

Something I Said…

Was that I would make my first post about this man who helped me recently. It was a Wednesday, and my mom, her friend Nicky, and I were going to Chicago. We were 5 minutes away from my  grandpa’s house, where we were headed to get my congas, when Nicky drove over some tracks that poked a hole in her tire. We had to pull over, and we were there for a half hour before this man came to help us. I can’t remember his name, all I know is that he was there with us for 2.5 hours out of the 3 we were stuck there. It was cold and snowing out, and the man got soaking wet. I wanted to write about this, because it’s not very often you encounter someone who’s so willing to lend a hand. I can’t tell you how many cars and trucks passed us by, probably 100, before and after we had this man to help us. Wasn’t there a time when people liked helping people? And if so, what has happened to those times? Why can’t people be as friendly and good-natured as they used to be?